May Recap/ June Goals

May was not the greatest for me. I had a funeral to attend to that messed me up, I’ve been splitting ( I have BPD) and I found myself struggling with my back again. I was in and out of urgent care, laid on my back and just in pain.

But I also got to spend time with friends, try new things and I am growing my business. So it’s not all bad but it’s not all good.

  1. Find my flow. I have an increased work load for my side business this month and it’s very possible I’ll continue with it going forward. I figured out that I would like to spend at least 15 hours a week on my business ( including this site and clients) so I need to figure out a way to get my additional work done.
  2. Take care of myself. This includes therapy every week, praying, working out twice a week, eating healthy, taking my supplements, sleeping ( it’s hard with back pain) and going to all of my doctor appointments.
  3. Have fun in San Francisco. I’ll be going to visit a friend and her family at the end of the month and I am so freaking excited! My bucket list includes, Castro, Alcatraz, meeting up with friends and eating good food. Any other suggestions?
  4. Read three books. I am still working on IT. And I would like to finish The Cook Up and True Crime Addict since they have been on my nightstand for a month.

Anyone have anything exciting going on?

 

Things My Mother Taught Me

I have a love hate relationship with Mother’s Day posts so it’s ironic that I find myself writing one.

I struggled actually, even thinking about it. See, my mom passed away when I was younger ( 15) and it was very traumatic. It wasn’t her fault, but the circumstances around her death and after her death were rough. Life was just rough. And although I thought I was over it for many years, and was able to function, it took me a long time to process it. I’m still processing it. Grief is funny in a way.

But now that I am actually thriving in my life, despite circumstances that have happened lately, I can think about what my mom taught me. It may not be standard financial lesson such as a 401 K or taxes, but it is still pretty important to me nonetheless.

Life happens. Do your best anyways.

If I have learned anything this past year, it’s that life happens. I get so caught up loving life when it’s great that when something bad happens, it hits me harrrddddd. I get so upset that it’s literally all I can focus on and it takes me hours to calm down, only after I have bawled and cried to anyone who will listen to me.

I do have a condition that I actively seek therapy for ( borderline personality disorder if anyone is wondering) but a lot of my therapy involves changing thought patterns and healthy coping techniques. My coping techniques aren’t always the best but I am doing a lot better about not getting stuck in my head. And I have to remember life happens and I need to do my best anyways.

My mom was a prime example of life happening in so many areas of her life that I never realized it until recently when thinking about her. 

My mom and I at Disneyland! I still have that look.

My mom, who had never wanted children, found out she was pregnant with me after falling off a horse at a party. (Yes, my mom was a good time, something I like to think I inherited.) The doctor told her that she was fine and so was her baby and she sort of yelled WHAT BABY. She was on the pill being an independent woman y’all. Oops.

Life changed drastically for her and she did her best anyways. She moved to Phoenix so she could have more family support with her brother. She started a new job as a veterinary assistant so she could have more stable income. And she decided to be a single mother without telling the birth father, despite being chronically ill.

My mom ended up loving being a mother, something she had not imagined. She had such a great energy about her life despite her circumstances that she ended up dating the firefighter who came to deliver me. She maintained her single mother status until I was four and she married the man who adopted me, the father I’ve known (not the firefighter, she left him for my dad).

This wasn’t the first or last time she had a major life change. She ended up choosing to divorce my father a few years later. Things were tough financially for us then, since she was chronically ill and couldn’t work. But she still did the best she could and I never went without. And when she knew she was terminally ill, she still did the best she could, encouraging me to stay with my education even when I would rather be taking care of her. I ended up being home schooled the last few months of her life but I was okay with it and I’m happy I had the option at the time.

Life changed and she did the best she could. 

I wish I had more time with my mom. There is so much you need your mom for and I feel cheated on a lot of things. But, I am so lucky because I have so many people in my life who love me. And that is what I need to remember when life changes so I don’t become so stagnant in my own thoughts.

What did your mom teach you? 

Spring Cleaning? Follow These Tips!

I remember when I was younger, I loved cleaning the house. Growing up with a chronically ill mom and workaholic dad while being an only child allowed me to sucker in the cash. Before my mom’s medical bills got outrageous and she divorced my dad, I was able to sucker $25-40 a week just by cleaning, stuff most kids do to build character. Except my room. I hated cleaning that.

My apartment is sort of like the adult version of my room in that I don’t want to spend all day cleaning it so I make jedi mind tricks to help. Along with keeping a day job, freelancing, friends and being a cat lady, keeping a clean house helps keep me sane. It can help you too.

Allow time for breaks and time for work. 

I am the biggest proponent in the world of breaks. My mind is busy and I can get easily off task. Throw in some chronic health issues that require rest and anxiety that leads to being overwhelmed, I could use a nap.Which is why I allow time for breaks and time for work.

I am a big proponent for the 20-10 rule made popular by UfYH. You can read more about it but it suggests working for 20 minutes and then breaking for 10. It’s like the pomodoro technique but for those of us who don’t like tomatoes and can’t handle the idea of only breaking for five minutes. A professor in college suggested to my class only working on something for 20 and then doing a chore. This aligns nicely with that.

Don’t be afraid to throw shit out. 

I “think” hoarding may be generational. If you have parents who are hoarders or pack rats, then chances are you never really learned a healthy relationship with your own belongings.

My dad is the biggest pack I personally know and owns over 60 cars that don’t run. I can’t really discuss the idea behind this because it doesn’t make sense to me. But, I’ve had my own trials tribulations with personal belongings I didn’t need. Not only did I have a problem with shopping I will discuss at a later time, but I had a personal problem with letting things go.

After I realized why I had a shopping problem and why I was hanging on to things, I was able to declutter. Decluttering allowed me to move four times in less than two years  when my life was unsettled. I was able to move in two car trips instead of renting a u-Haul. Excess furniture I don’t utilize doesn’t belong in my house. And when my life feels chaotic, I know I can cut shit out.

Do a little bit each day.

Along with taking breaks, I don’t make it a big deal to do everything in one day. I do get stressed out if people are coming over or staying long term, like my boyfriend, but I try not to make a big deal out of it or cram it all on one day when I’m sure to get overwhelmed. Instead, I allow myself to do something everyday.

Maybe Monday nights are dedicated to the bathroom or laundry. Maybe vacuuming is something you do on Sunday mornings. Create a cleaning schedule and do things when you know you can, little by little, everyday. Along with a checklist for my night routine, I know laundry is done on Sundays and my fridge needs to be cleaned out on Thursdays.

Allow yourself some fun cleaning products.

Nothing is wrong with wanting pretty things in your home and that includes cleaning products. Not only do I buy sponges in fun prints from the dollar store, I also allow lavender scented Swifter sheets and bamboo smelling air freshener.

I like to have fun when I clean, so I power up the radio and pop out my hot pink spray bottles. You can get most cleaning supplies at the dollar store like me and splurge on a few items at Target. They are probably cheaper at Walmart but the one by my house is one frequented by Phoenix Police so I try not to shop there too often.

Do you have any spring cleaning tips to share?

May Goals

April showers bring May flowers but if you live in Arizona, it brings a lot of wind instead. Along with out first 100 degree day ( yes, it’s hot!), everyone’s allergies have been crazy but will hopefully die down soon.

April was also crazy expensive which has been my life story since the beginning of this year, with a lot of associated health care costs. I have good days and bad days still but have been feeling a lot better. I’ve been working on my diet and supplements and next month I would like to incorporate working out twice a week. I also spent a lot of time and money on my car Sophia these past few months but she is now ready for the year. On to the May goals.

  1. Work out twice a week. This month I’ve worked hard on adjusting my diet in an effort to feel better and I lost 3lbs. Along with setting up little 5lb weight loss goals I’d like to hit, I’d like to add working out back into the mix. I’m going to Puerto Rico this Christmas and would like to lose 5 lbs a month until then.
  2.  Throw away 10 things a day.  Last month I had to pack up a lot of stuff in my apartment so it could get treated by an exterminator due to no fault of my own. Said stuff is still bagged up and in my closet and dining room. I already gave away 3 bags of belongings and I’m hoping to continue on my decluttering streak. 10 things can be easy like 10 pieces of paper, items out of my cupboard I am not going to touch or bath products collecting dust.
  3. Stick to my blog calendar on MSL. This is going to be my BHAG goal for the month. I always have tons of ideas for MSL, my own little piece of the web but client work always comes first for me. It’s a quicker return financially and I really enjoy the clients I have. But, if I want my corner of the web to grow, provide more income and really be all that it cane be, like a place for Latinas to find the financial knowledge they need, I need to step it waaaaaaay up.
  4. Read 2 books. I’m re-reading IT this month and that’s over 1,000 pages so I’ll only be shooting for 2. This should be doable even with a lengthy book as I aim to read an hour before bed 4-5 nights a week
  5. Send out thank you cards. I’ve been slowly but surely gathering addresses to send out overdue thank you cards to people who donated to my fundraiser. Better late than never? ( Please don’t hate me)
  6. Tally up spending for quarter 1. You know I’m a financial nerd, I need to run my numbers and figure out how to pay even more to this medical debt.

What do you have planned for May?